Art & Entertainment

Affairs of the Heart
by Lolae Joline Lambert

I confess. I have engaged in many affairs, some extramarital, on and off for years. They began at an early age. My lovers engulfed me with emotion, entertainment, and knowledge, and I could not resist. I spent cold winters, hot humid summers, wet springs, and glorious falls with my lovers and I could count on each one to keep me company when everyone else had long left my life. Every intricate moment of the experiences is a part of who and what I am today. I am sure it is shocking to learn of my interludes and that my lovers still visit me… sometimes a daily interaction. Are they tall, rich, famous, educated, or sexy? Yes, to all and so much more. Where do you find love like this? It all begins with your first book!

One of my first memories is of my mother reading to me. She would sit beside me on the sofa and read the little Golden Books. I would beg her to read them over and over. Two of my favorites were "Cinderella" and "Dumbo"; two very different stories. One gives hope for true romance and escape from cruel and harsh situations. The other gives hope for real love that is not based on appearance or ability. Even at a young age, I realized both were special.

Almost every time Mom took me shopping with her, I asked for a new book. Even before I could read, I would turn the pages and imagine my own stories. Then when Mom would read the story sometimes, I would be amazed at the difference in the words of the stories and what I created in my mind. I adored the Dick and Jane series we were reading in school. I was excited to actually be learning words and to read aloud. Now, I would read the books to my mother.

When I was about 7, Mom purchased a series of books. The books were thick with many photos and lots of words.  Each book was about different topics. One was about history another about science. One as I remember was all Nursery Rhymes. Not a day passed that I did not take one out and read about something new and interesting. The science book had an entire section on the solar system and I was fascinated with the orbits of the planets and reading about the stars. 

As soon as I was able to read well, I became a member of the local Library wherever we lived, and I would "borrow" as we called it then, one or two books a week. Some books were about facts, some fiction, countries, and famous people. Mom was very sure that I did not borrow anything inappropriate for my age. I loved to read at the library. It was so quiet, not like home with all its distractions.

One summer about age 13, I read a fictional series about a teen age girl and the years she spent her summers in Cape Cod. Her stories instilled in me a desire to spend summers by the water and to visit the cape someday. Sadly vacationing there is still on my "bucket" list. Her stories weaved a tapestry of summers on and near the water struggling with her changing hormones. The details of the stories were both exciting and comforting to a young girl at the entrance to adolescence. Without ever leaving home, I summered in New England and dealt with first loves and emotions of love lost. I learned much about friendship, family, and community. I learned about sailing, swimming, fishing, and area cuisine.

By the following summer I had added a new dimension to my library trips…the romance story magazines of the day depicting the sagas of romance, and unrequited loves. My aunts were reading these and I would sneak one now and then and go hide and read them. Though mostly fiction, I now realize, the romance magazines provided the thrill of the journey and the anguish of the betrayal. I think these periodicals were akin to the girly magazines and scantily clad girls on calendars for young men. It all seemed part of the process until my life began to be reality and not out of a magazine. I wonder sometimes if these stories prepared me or hindered me in the romance department. With a book, you can learn what doesn’t work, too, without having to actually try it yourself. Most of the stories ended with the love being reborn and all resentments forgotten. In the real world, I learned Lassie does not always come home. Sometimes things are just over.

I continued to read the next few years, but now it all seemed like necessary readying for courses in school, or instructions to be followed. Reading lost its charm for a long time. I became busy with life and Morning Bible readings, the local and Sunday newspapers and a couple of women’s magazines were about all I could fit in to my schedule.

Over the years I and my lovers investigated all kinds of topics. I read many of the classics and epics. One of my favorite novels is "Gone with the Wind". Once in awhile, however, there would be a book I would just have to read. Some of the best books were not famous ones. I still talk about one, although I could not tell you the name of the author. "If You Could See What I Hear" was a sale item on a table in a bookstore, but what a great story! It touched me and I have never forgotten it. Recently, I read a book called "The Shack" by Wm. Paul Young. This book should be mandatory reading for everyone. I have discovered that the books that stay with you your entire life are the great ones!

So my love affair continues to this day. I may not be as prolific a reader anymore, especially since I am spending more time with my other lover…writing, but reading will always be one of my favorite activities.  Give me a summer’s breeze, lots of shade, an iced cold homemade lemonade or iced tea, and a book and I will be lost with my lover again at the Cape. Give me a snowy winter’s day…howling outside, inside a roaring fire sitting in a comfy chair wrapped in a blanket with a novel, and I am off again on a trip into the mysteries of life. Give me rain tapping on a tin roof, a hot bowl of soup, and a book meant for meditation and I am delving into my innermost self for truth and wisdom. Give me a crisp brightly colored autumn day, park bench, and a cup of extraordinary coffee reading a book about the future, and as I surround myself with all that is beautiful  about the landscape, I am filled with hope that yesterday’s mistakes will be corrected and we all will live in peace and harmony in the future. When I am finished reading, I sit awhile longer contemplating the park, the beauty, and my hopes for the future and I am in awe of the power of words and surroundings. Why can’t I let go of these affairs? Because when I read, I can go anywhere, be anyone, and do anything, one book at a time.